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What most guys don't realise or refuse to acknowledge is
that the odds are well and truly stacked against them when
they use adult personals. That doesn't mean you should throw
in the towel. I always believe every cloud has a silver lining.
It just means you have to be clever to get ahead of the pack.
Why are the odds stacked against you? Believe me it's got
nothing to do with you personally; how you look, how clever
you are, how you smell!! It's something totally out of your
control (well not totally, as you will find out). Economists
call it supply and demand. The simple truth is there are far
more guys than girls using adult personals.
To put that a bit more concretely: there are ten times and
sometimes twenty times more guys using adult personals than
us girls. That's a whole load of competition that you could
do without, right?
Let me give you a example. I recently placed an advert. Within
two days I had received over 600 replies! As much as I'd like
to I can't handle that many hungry studs in such a short space
of time! The guy who was number 600 may have looked like a
Greek god but do you think he ever got a look in? No I bet
his evenings are spent with Mrs Palm and her five daughters!
And the replies are still pouring in...
So lesson #1 is this: Realize that there is a lot of competition
out there. This means what you have do has to BE DIFFERENT
to the hundreds maybe thousands of other guys you are competing
with.
It's not just the sheer number of guys versus girls using
personals that is a problem. A lot more women than men use
adult personals for cyber sex. Now I don't know about you
but cyber sex loses its appeal after a while. I once received
some emails from a guy who was into cyber. What was a real
turn off was the fact that they weren't original - I could
tell he was copying and pasting some pre-written sexy stuff
that he probably sent to hundreds of chicks.
However, as a woman I can understand the appeal of cybersex.
it allows us to indulge our love of fantasy and what's more
it's completely safe - you don't have to worry about meeting
any weirdos. However, for the vast majority of guys who are
just looking for some mutual fun this is a big problem. You
have to learn how to spot the cyberchicks and make sure they
don't waste your valuable time.
Cyber can be a useful way of getting a woman interested in
you before you arrange a meeting. You want to turn her on
but you also don't want to waste time writing long sexy emails
that never get a follow up. Cut 'n paste is your best friend
here but you have to do it right. I'll tell you how later
on.
Why are so many guys interested in adult personals? The guys
I've spoken to say that they love the idea of no strings sex.
They don't want the hassle of a relationship - they just want
to get laid. A lot of women are the same and it is becoming
more socially acceptable to remain unattachd and explore your
sexuality. However, a lot of women are more interested in
stable long-term relationships than having no strings sex.
Some women that are interested in no strings sex may be to
shy or scared to just go for it. Neither of these groups are
of any interest to guys looking for no strings fun.
What about women who want sex and are prepared to place ads?
We're your target audience. However, we are DIFFERENT to the
men who want the same thing and you must handle us with care.
I once got emailed by a guy who was basically instructing
me to get over to his house right away so he could give
me a good lay. Women may have huge sex drives but we don't
act out on our fantasies like that. a women will always want
to check the guy out first.
So lesson #2 is this: Just because a woman wants the same
thing as you doesn't mean you should treat her like a guy
would like to be treated. I'll get back to this later. First
I'm going to give you some tips on solving the problem of
too many guys and too few gals.
December 2003
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