Online Dating Tip The Online Dating Tip Guide
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    August 30th, 2012SusanUncategorized

    Communicating Effectively Online

    The first email that you send to someone that you are interested in dating online is an important one, and one of the best online dating tips ever is to communicate effectively with potential mates online. Remember, when you are communicating with someone online, you don’t have other tools to assist you in getting your point across, like your facial expressions, your voice, and hand and body gestures. For this reason it is important that you use your only tools available to you – your words.

    Spend a bit of time in your introductory email asking the potential mate questions, based on their profile. Provide some information about yourself, but make it minimal. After all, you don’t want to reveal too much nor do you wish to seem like a self-centered person who is all about ‘me me me’.

    Throw in a compliment or two but don’t go overboard. For instance, you might compliment the person on their smile, or on their profile, or some other aspect of themselves. It is important to not be disrespectful, rude, or too ‘forward’.  In other words, don’t compliment the person on their breasts “nice rack” or say anything demeaning.

    If you decide they are not for you, then you should also politely tell them that. An honest message to let them know that you are moving on is a kind gesture that keeps the online dating community civil.

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    August 23rd, 2012SusanUncategorized

    One White Lie Leads to Another

    If you only pay attention to a couple of online dating tips, this should be one of them. Avoid lying on your profile. This cannot be emphasized enough. One white lie may seem harmless at the inception.  But as time goes by, lies have a way of revealing themselves. When you meet someone in person, it is going to be difficult to account for fifty added pounds that were not revealed in your outdated profile picture, or when your BMW turns into an inherited Chevy Caprice that was willed to you by your great Aunt Rhoda.

    It is many times the case that one lie leads to another. You tell one thing about yourself that is untrue and then you have to build an entire body of lies around that one lie in order to cover up for the initial lie. That is the reasoning behind the old saying “what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive”.

    As a general rule, people will accept you for who you really are. Albeit not everyone will want to date you for the real you, they will definitely not want to date you (generally) if you end up being something other than what they had pictured you being. For this reason, being disingenuous is a super big, super stupid, no no. Not everyone can be a medical student with terrific abs who drives a Jaguar and lives in a condo on the beach. But you can be you – and there is someone out there for everyone, even if you are so lame that your picture is in the dictionary next to the word ‘loser’.

    Bottom line. Honesty pays. In life and in online dating.

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    August 16th, 2012SusanUncategorized

    If you read our last post about the MySpace head shot being a winner for women who are building their online profiles, based on research by the guys and gals at OkCupid.Com, then you’re in for another shocker. (Actually, you will likely only be shocked if you are a guy. Most women will not be shocked). The ab shot that so many guys use for their profile picture – it’s weird.  Awkward. Vulgar. That’s the consensus among women that we spoke to, which concurs with the OkCupid research into the matter.

    Perhaps there’s a better way to put it. If you have abs that are worth showing off, it is okay with the ladies if you do so. However, if you have more of a two liter than a six pack, then maybe you shouldn’t show it off to strange women who you are trying to woo electronically on an online dating site.  For one thing, it makes you look like you have an inflated self-image, and nothing is worse than being ‘struck on yourself’ when no one else is. Secondly, showing off your bare chest when it isn’t pin up quality is just soooo cheesy.

    A second unrelated tip. For the guys on these online dating sites who are trying to compensate for not having a hard body and sculpted pecs by dressing up for the camera, you’re also doing yourself a disservice. After all, you likely only get in formal attire every now and then, right? Now is not the time to wow the ladies with your tuxedo from cousin Betsy’s wedding if you don’t don it regularly for nights at the opera.

    A third tip for those who DO show their abs. Include a head with the body. Sorry, its not a meat market. We’re not buying slabs of abs. A headless shot seems to say that you’re all about your chest, and surely there is something more to you than that!

     

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    August 16th, 2012SusanUncategorized

     

    Chances are better than good that you have taken at least one or more pictures of yourself using the MySpace angle. This is a term that was coined back during the heyday of the now nearly defunct social networking site, MySpace.Com.   To achieve this angle, you simply hold a camera or phone with camera at an angle above your head so that your arm is not showing.  Presto, you can photograph yourself and no one will be any wiser, right? Wrong!  It’s the MySpace angle, and it can be spotted a mile away.

    Fortunately, if you are a woman, the MySpace angle has been shown , according to a blog post on OkCupid.Com, to be the single most effective picture that you can take for your online dating profile. In fact, according to the post, the shot is much better than shots that were taken in a variety of spots, including in bed (which was a very far behind second place), outdoors (trailing even further back in third place) and travel photos. Other shots that were used in this not-so-scientific study include shots of the person having fun with their friends, doing an interesting activity (yes, it is cool to mount your stamp collection), drinking alcohol (hey, everyone loves an alcoholic), or posing with an animal (who says gerbils can’t be taught to fetch a stick).   The MySpace shot profiles got  more hits than other profiles. Go figure!

    According to OkCupid.Com, until their study was undertaken, it was thought widely that the MySpace shot was for bozos, clowns, and other trolls.

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    August 9th, 2012SusanUncategorized

    Are you scaring him off with your ten year plan?

    One of the top online dating tips should be written in stone for all women to see.  Don’t talk about the future with a guy that you just met. While you may be antsy to find someone before your biological clock starts buzzing, the truth is that you don’t want to rush things at any age. And rushing a guy is akin to scaring him off faster than you can say ‘ten year plan’. Guys are naturally skittish when it comes to commitment, and talking to a guy about what your plans are, if you are interested in dating him, is sort of like asking him to settle down – way before you’ve reached “first base” in “guy speak”.

    By allowing things to take their course and to naturally follow your instincts about the guy you are dating, you will eventually find the “one”.  Whether or not you will find him within the time frame that you have set for yourself is another thing. We can’t plan love, we can only fall in love when the heart wills it to be so and when you find someone who feels the same way about you. After all, would you want to start a marriage and have children with someone who is not one-thousand percent into you?

    The reality is that there is someone for everyone, but some of us take longer to find that person than others. Or perhaps we just refuse to settle for less than what we imagined. Still, you cannot allow your list of priorities to cloud your judgment when it comes to finding a suitable mate. Sometimes you throw the “baby out with the bath water” when you discard a potential mate because he lacks some perceived quality that you think of as a “must”.  There are a lot of “second place” guys out there who can turn out to be winners!

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    August 2nd, 2012SusanUncategorized

    What do men Hate?

    No online dating tip is better than this one: avoid doing things that guys hate if you want to land a date or keep a date coming back for more. The top thing that guys hate about women is that women see them as ‘fixer uppers’.  Well, some of them may be but the truth is that fixing a guy up to be what you want is never a good idea. He will never be happy if he is not himself, and you will always find another flaw lurking under the surface, waiting for repair. Instead, learn to accept a guy for what he is. If you can’t accept him, move on. Don’t try to change him because it will usually backfire on you. He is not an old fixer upper house that you can invest a few coats of paint and new drapes in and plan on getting what you want.

    Another thing that women do that men really hate is something that men are also guilty of when it comes to women: seeing them under the stereotypes that Hollywood stars are put under. You will probably never met nor date George Clooney and Brad Pitt is taken by the lovely Mrs. Jolie-Pitt. Sure, dating a super star would be nice but the chances of that happening are zilch to none. You would be more apt to win a million dollars. Women who refuse to date anyone who is less attractive than the latest big screen heart throb are truly superficial and perhaps a tad bit ignorant. There’s plenty of less than perfect fish in the sea, but you will never get a “bite” if you throw back all the less appealing ones.